Detailed Review Request Thread!!
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MimiTea so what I mean is that for instance the beginning prologue piece. It's very descriptive which works for that moment because it's a slow moment between lovers. So, it's beneficial for it to linger and to have gravity.
But for a lot of the chapter it's all deep description hitting every excruciating detail but if you really broke down the events of the chapter all the main character really did was get kicked out and ran to a wagon to get shelter. That makes a lot of those details feel like fluff when I'm reading them and instead of getting immersed I get lost trying to really understand what's going on and why. It takes away a bit from getting to know your main characters actual qualities and getting invested in her. The romance genre is more character driven in my opinion which means I need the characters to hold the spotlight and drive the action and so forth.
I tend to stray myself from heavy detailing surroundings unless it absolutely matters and instead focusing on getting out the beats of the story. Just my opinion of course I think the premise is fantastic and has tons of interesting avenues to explore. Hope this is helpful.
Arcana_Legends thanks!! 
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MimiTea
1. Definitely can see how that can be an issue will work on it's formatting.
It's kinda hard to change that when the story is first-person perspective. Could you elaborate on the mystery point?
- I never even thought about this thanks. That's pretty easy fix.
I'm not really sure how to address that. The conflict is there it's just not overt because I'm focused on the characters and how they interact with this world no one really know anything about. I'll try to find someway to emphasis where the conflict lies.
I thought I was being clear that the location at that point didn't really matter by describing it as mundane or ordinary letting the reader fill in their expectation of what a classroom looks like. But, I'll make it clearer that the locations aren't important right now.
Your feedback is super helpful thank you! If you have any suggestions I'd like to hear those also.
Cool!
I meant that in the prologue, it's supposed to give readers a sort of "mystery" of how MC got into this situation? There were lines like he was looking down on his friends and something about a phoenix statue. It would be better if you described the phoenix statue instead of saying "If this is the last thing I see" because it's kind of awkward how it randomly pops out of nowhere. Instead, it could be like, "I laid my eyes on the phoenix statue..." if you know what I mean.
Also, there were some parts where you overexplained like the MC's best friend. It's always seen through dialogue, though you can also point it out—but readers will know.
- Yep!!
3(?) Well, to be honest, it could be due to your synopsis. I don't see a story conflict in there, it seems like MC is just gonna go about his life. If the conflict is there, be sure to write it in your synopsis!
- I might've missed it because of the formatting, but okay!! I just thought since it's a different world, it would have something unique to it. Maybe every student is wearing an emblem, etc.
As for suggestions, I don't have much because I'm not a typical ML reader. I do recommend going straight into conflict
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I trust you my dear cutie pie. But seem to have misunderstood me. No matter which story it is, or how bad it is. Someone behind a screen worked hard to put it into words and I think just that act is enough to earn a modicum of respect.
Sara_Wilcox Okay I made some of those descriptive changes and will add more in due time for future chapters and current ones. I know your busy but I would love your future support as not only a critic but as a fan when you can of course.
Donniedrako15_ sure
I don’t normally read heist/con books, but the super powers make me interested to see how it turns out. I’ll definitely read when I have time.
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Sara_Wilcox EH wouldn't call it a heist book, more so cyberpunk sci fi with a dash of super-powered action. Volume 1 does do the after shock of the heist though.
I want to put mine. Please give me a review
Title : Enchanters Phantasm
Genre : Fantasy
Link : https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/20276456405742405?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4316765707
Synopsis : The world was bound to be doomed again. As the Seven Generals makes their appearance to try and take back their leader.
The protagonist, Shou Escarra who have a bad reputation in his school and in the whole country, was the leader they’re looking for. But not to treat him like a king but to simply just kill him!
Simply put, in order to prevent that from happening he just need to stay alive.
Its easier said than done. Specially when your up against a muscular kapre, a tikbalang who master swordsmanship, a magic genius dwarf, a wild tiyanak, a man-eating aswang and the Purgatorians. Not to mention the overwhelming army of undeads and dullahans.
Even though the difficulty of their opponent was so high and him not having any kinds of power like a protagonist like him should. Using his brains, guts and any methods he can think of. Shou, together with his otherworld being friends, struggle to survive in order to save the world.
- Title: Charlie Mutton - Gifted
- Genre: Fantasy(-Male Leading)
- Synopsis: A young boy discovers that his life was not as simple as he thought. Now he has to play a significant role in an interplanar war while learning to control his new found abilities and understanding his past.
- Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/charlie-mutton---gifted_20266532105646605
I would appreciate some honest reviews, thank you in advance for your time.
Title: I am a Farmer
Genre: Fantasy
Synopsis: When everyone is painstakingly cultivating to raise their rank
When everyone is traveling for experience
When everyone is doing their best to improved
I am here farming inside my miniworld
" What's so good about being an S rank? I am a farmer who can kill you with one slap "
" What did you say? You have a thousand army of A ranks? Listen, when my pet roars the army you're proud of will cower in fear"
I am a cheat myself so what can you do? Then transmigrate to other world to get your own system sucker's
"I can create a million SS rank army of my own if I want to"
"If you don't want your small kingdom got flatten, get out of my sight dumbass"
Follow the adventure of a farmer whose life was idle even in a chaotic world " VLODY "
Link: https://m.webnovel.com/book/i-am-a-farmer_20320703006361505
Title: I am a Farmer
Genre: Fantasy
Synopsis: When everyone is painstakingly cultivating to raise their rank
When everyone is traveling for experience
When everyone is doing their best to improved
I am here farming inside my miniworld
" What's so good about being an S rank? I am a farmer who can kill you with one slap "
" What did you say? You have a thousand army of A ranks? Listen, when my pet roars the army you're proud of will cower in fear"
I am a cheat myself so what can you do? Then transmigrate to other world to get your own system sucker's
"I can create a million SS rank army of my own if I want to"
"If you don't want your small kingdom got flatten, get out of my sight dumbass"
Follow the adventure of a farmer whose life was idle even in a chaotic world " VLODY "
Link: https://m.webnovel.com/book/i-am-a-farmer_20320703006361505
You can give your honest review about my work if you like it. Thanks
Hi @Yoan_Roturier
I'd like to join your discord if you will permit. You are very thorough in your reviews. I like that.
I will also like an honest review please.
Thanks.
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Hi @Yoan_Roturier
I'd like to join your discord if you will permit. You are very thorough in your reviews. I like that.
I will also like an honest review please.
Thanks.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/thirsty-royals_20053773506075105
Hi man, thanks for the compliment but I do think the guy up there Epyonnn is more thorough than I am. Because I am what I like to call an instinctual writer. I can't actually back up my advices that well, at least that's how I feel. However, I can somehow feel some sort of flows from novels. Don't ask me how, it's just how it is after reading a certain number of novels. lol...
Hum, about joining my discord server. I'll be straight, I've never really exchanged with you before on the forum. Even if it's not something of big server with top authors, I still do some sort of background check on the people I invite. No offense buddy. Maybe once I'll get to know you a bit better and after reading your work. Do get more active on this page, swap reviews with other people, and stuff.
As for you review, I've got a lot of stuff to do for now. But I'll check it out eventually. Just don't expect it to be this week or even next week.