DeadlyRaven I already reviewed I think, on the thread with your @DrunkenShadow account. Gave my feedback on how to progress the story based on reading all 6 chapters (at that time only 6 released)

Edit: posted my review on your book page.

      Ierrech
      I Will review ur's in 30min-1hour.
      in middle of reading.

      posted my review on your book page.

        Hyowha I'll keep this review short even though I could really write alot.

        Disclaimer: only read until chapter 7

        Rating: 5 for everything

        What's really good: plotting, scheming, characters, setting, psychology of characters, unexpected developments (E.g. prince is not a high and mighty snob but kind hearted. King is sharp, venomous and scheming not stupidly benevolent)
        What I would prefer to be adjusted:
        1. some internal monologues are too long for most readers, you might want to shorten them so that readers with shorter attention spans can read it more easily.
        2. Punctuation and writing flow: the placement of commas doesn't feel natural. It makes the "voice" sound like it is jerky.
        3. "Show don't tell" it feels like you are doing a good amount of both - I understand that internal monologues and narration can only be by "tell".
        However I notice that there will be big chunks of "show" then big chunks of "tell" together.
        My suggestion would be to space out/ pace out your writing; mix up the show and tell so that a reader isn't just going through huge walls of narration (tell), then long paragraphs of description (show)

            Hyowha to elaborate - your work reminds me of "I'm sorry for being born into this world".

            Your work is really good! In the top 10 books I've read so far!

              I did wait for half hour I will be posting your review

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