ArcaneDragon Thank you for the review, I have given you one in return.
As far as my book:
What would you regard as a non-cliche way of dying in this subgenre? The VRMMORPG books that I have read mostly do one of these:
1. MC gets killed off by former friend and/or sworn.
2. MC suddenly wakes up in his past.
I might have missed something, but since I know these two as the standard method of dying, I chose to go for a slightly different way. As far as the second chance thing, yes he does get it, but as you can see, there are still differences as he can only live for himself, unlike characters in other books that either live for revenge or for their family, or both. I'd love to hear more from you about this, as your point of view could be very helpful
As far as 'transitioning from the event in game to another', I'm not exactly sure what you mean, same goes for 'concerned about the real life of MC'. Try to elaborate on these.
There are probably mistakes here and there, and I'd stake my life that I messed up a comma a few times, but hopefully it's good enough.
I don't have any plans of dropping this story, but it does depend on interest. If it makes you feel better - this novel currently has more people following it and reading each chapter than my previous story, which had a lot more chapters to garner attention.
As far as your novel:
You seem to know your weaknesses - grammar and punctuation are your main enemies. I'd suggest finding an editor, as well as putting in the time to better your English. I'd look around Reddit, as you can always find useful stuff for language learning there. If you put in half an hour a day into studying English, you will improve at frightening speeds, trust me.
Besides that, I'd say your work needs to be more descriptive and I'd love more detail on the characters, their clothes and surroundings, the world in general. It's important for some things to be 'shallow', and others to be 'deep' if you know what I mean
Edit: For vocabulary, I highly recommend using Anki to create your own 'decks' and using it daily. It has helped me remember a lot of words and information in the past and is overall a great tool if you put in the time to make it work for your needs. As far as editing previous chapters, be aware that old readers will never see them, unless they clear their cache (option is in Settings) or even reinstall the app altogether.