If anyone will review my synopsis. I will gladly review there novel in exchange =].

After being betrayed by her guild leader, she was forced to stay in the game. She started screaming because she had just lost control of her guild. She pictured going to a bar with her friends, but could not logout.

She moved her fingers around the interface, and clicked support, but could not contact a gamemaster. Opening her inventory, she cried. There was no gear. The stakes included all items and gold. She rushed out of the stone chapel and onto the dirt road looking for a person. After bumping into a few NPCs, she noticed there was no players around. Her heartbeat began speeding up, and her fingers where moist.

A guard approached Ellen and said: “Why are you naked?” She gazed at the NPC, and said: “I lost my clothes.” The guard replied: ‘You are coming in for public indecency. Consider yourself lucky you will get food and clothes for a few days you bum.”

Ellen decided against fighting back and surrendered. She did not want a problem with the local NPC’s. The guard ‘escorted’ her past the market place and into her new prison. He then said: you will be released on October 7th

Ellen responded: “what year?” The guard responded 312.

Ellen noted that it was two years before the game started. Would she be able to contact another human soon, would she be with woman?

Just answering these questions would also be fine.

What emotion/emotions will I feel? What Path will the story take? What do you except.

    Niglover Noticed two small grammatic errors.
    Her fingers "were" moist.
    "A" woman.
    It felt to me that our MC lost everything and is now forced to restart again, but this time there is no one to support her.
    And I found the last line quite intriguing, though I don't know what that is supposed to mean? XD

        [unknown]

        I would if you review my content above, maybe you have not seen it.

        Or maybe he hates me the world may never know.

        Katekichi

        Hi I took a quick glace at your novel.

        Only read 3 sentences, but found a few concerns.

        Chapter 1: Chapter 1: A dedication.- Remove Chapter one from your title name so it does not repeat. I looks lazy/unprofessional and is really easy to fix.

        If not everyone, most of the people on Earth have a goal in their life. Some want money. Some want power.
        This could be changed into something more concise, something like below. This if was not written like the above for a certain reason, it is needlessly wordy.

        Most people have a goal in their life, often times it is money or power.

        If your trying to boost word count consider reading this https://www.webnovel.com/book/12188725105057605/The-Dao-of-Filler

        When I read that line it came of as preachy, is there a reason you did not start of with story?

        From your synopsis I could tell the direction of your story, but not what kind of story will it be. It gives me a sense of adventure, but I think you need to expand on it a bit more.

        I cannot tell how your MC feels about anything, as of now she seems hollow?

        With reading so little all I can say about your good points is your grammar is very clear, and I had no issues reading it.

        I'm scared to invest more time, into reading your novel as of now if you go into good detail on my Synopsis, I would keep going.

            Niglover first, you over used the pronoun she a lot. If you want to you could use the MC’s name a lot more.
            I just can’t tell where the story is going. Are you trying to make a girl who lost it all get revenge? Someone who is trapped trying to escape? A reincarnation? Or something else...

            You need to relay what the story will be about better, it’s like introducing a character without any goals. A little strange and confusing.

            The synopsis itself is a bit different since you have so much small details added into it. It’s kind of like reading a miniature chapter, which isn’t bad but at the same time it isn’t good.

            It is also strange how the MC just loses all of her items without much of an explanation why... if it was something like

            {after being betrayed by her guild mates and having all of her items and equipment stolen, Ellen was thrown aside...}

            It would be a bit more understandable but instead the way it was worded makes me think that the game just kind of glitched out.

            The two year part also makes me a bit curious. Did she travel to a new world, back in time, or something else? I have a few other problems but these are too personal and won’t realky matter much.

            Whatever it may be, I think you have a good idea and the right concept. You just tried to put too much inside of the synopsis all at once

                UnjustlyUnderpaid

                I will edit/overhaul it with your comments in mind.

                After reading it your right there is a lot going on

                MC cheated out of her guild, given no explanation for why she is trapped in the game, and tossed into the past.

                Maybe I should remake and edit that content using it for C1... hmm

                Thanks again <3

                    Niglover no need to review my novel (mostly because I’m shy about it) just concentrate on your own novel and help others on this post. 👍😁 my novel is about to have a pretty bad (bad as in it sucks, not bad as in it’s a tragedy) ending and I don’t want anymore star reviews on it to trick people into reading my novel, simply due to the fact that I know it’s not my best work. I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want you to suffer through that.

                      gusdefrog same for you, due to how I’m about to rush the ending of my novel like its a speeding train, I suggest that you might want to stop reading it and voting for it. If just to not ruin your impression of a book that started out pretty decently and ended up terribly. I would like to thank you for all of the help you’ve given me in the past and I hope you continue writing your novel with great success(which I am sure you’ll get)

                          Niglover

                          Hey, thanks!
                          I know, it does sound preachy. I might change it, soon to something more catchy.
                          By the way, what do you mean by the last line?

                              Katekichi

                              I quickly changed it to this.

                              Ellen noted it was two years before the game started. Would she be able to contact another ‘human’ soon, could she find a lover?

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