Webnovel.Forum

Katekichi

Thanks for your input =]

Happy holidays everybody! Hope you are having a good time and success in your writing!

[unknown]

I would if you review my content above, maybe you have not seen it.

Or maybe he hates me the world may never know.

Niglover Will you review my work?

Niglover first, you over used the pronoun she a lot. If you want to you could use the MC’s name a lot more.
I just can’t tell where the story is going. Are you trying to make a girl who lost it all get revenge? Someone who is trapped trying to escape? A reincarnation? Or something else...

You need to relay what the story will be about better, it’s like introducing a character without any goals. A little strange and confusing.

The synopsis itself is a bit different since you have so much small details added into it. It’s kind of like reading a miniature chapter, which isn’t bad but at the same time it isn’t good.

It is also strange how the MC just loses all of her items without much of an explanation why... if it was something like

{after being betrayed by her guild mates and having all of her items and equipment stolen, Ellen was thrown aside...}

It would be a bit more understandable but instead the way it was worded makes me think that the game just kind of glitched out.

The two year part also makes me a bit curious. Did she travel to a new world, back in time, or something else? I have a few other problems but these are too personal and won’t realky matter much.

Whatever it may be, I think you have a good idea and the right concept. You just tried to put too much inside of the synopsis all at once

UnjustlyUnderpaid

I will edit/overhaul it with your comments in mind.

After reading it your right there is a lot going on

MC cheated out of her guild, given no explanation for why she is trapped in the game, and tossed into the past.

Maybe I should remake and edit that content using it for C1... hmm

Thanks again <3

UnjustlyUnderpaid

If you would like me to review, your novel I would be honored, I stalked you and think you have been murdered.

Not sure how much you have edited your earlier content, it might be useless. I could leave you a 5 star review for fun however. =]

Niglover That might work, it does seem more like an unfinished outline, with clues to what you know but aren't telling us enough to understand.

Niglover no need to review my novel (mostly because I’m shy about it) just concentrate on your own novel and help others on this post. my novel is about to have a pretty bad (bad as in it sucks, not bad as in it’s a tragedy) ending and I don’t want anymore star reviews on it to trick people into reading my novel, simply due to the fact that I know it’s not my best work. I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want you to suffer through that.

https://www.webnovel.com/book/12421071605419605/The-Strongest-in-the-World-Doesn't-Have-Any-Abilities%3F!

Feel free to check my novel (and leave a review too, only if you want to). Thanks!

Also, I'm willing to swap reviews with anyone who reviews my novel. Thanks again!

https://www.webnovel.com/book/11501518405408905/System-Programmer

Always looking for new opinions. :D

Niglover

Hey, thanks!
I know, it does sound preachy. I might change it, soon to something more catchy.
By the way, what do you mean by the last line?

Katekichi

I quickly changed it to this.

Ellen noted it was two years before the game started. Would she be able to contact another ‘human’ soon, could she find a lover?

Author_Shizu

Since you're kindly offering, do you mind looking at mine? :D
https://www.webnovel.com/book/11501518405408905/System-Programmer

Author_Shizu

You might be at the point that you need a professional.

UnjustlyUnderpaid Nooo, lol, don't ask me not to read the end, that's the worst kind of cliffhanger. Even if you're unhappy about ending it more abruptly than you wanted to, it'll still be good to see the ending you give it. As far as the stones, if you're going to go out, might as well be with a bang? Your ranking is awesome this week.