Kingoftheland

Author_Shizu

Acutelittletrap

gusdefrog

UnjustlyUnderpaid

MC_Dakki

Hyowha

Apophis9

fantasy_land

hello everyone! also who i didn't tag, hello!

please help me review my work. i will do the same for you. if you gonna review than like or comment on this, so i will know about you and i will check your work.

i need:
--Constructive Criticism: this is where you tell that what i should fix and how to fix it. If you don't know how i can fix it then make sure that such is clear.
--Positive Feedback: this is where you tell me what i did right, make sure to add at least one thing.
--Personal Feedback: this is where you tell me your personal opinions of the book and whether you will continue reading the book or not

i will do the same as above for you.

thank you!

https://www.webnovel.com/book/12286043505200605/System%3AHarry-The-Harem-lord

    fantasy_land No that won't do!!!!!! You're not the one who wronged me!
    I want REFUND!!!!!! No but I've already given my valuable piece of advice...
    I WANT THAT PERSON UNDER THE BARS!!!!!!!!!
    No this post is...
    Fraud
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    great_gamer
    Hey god_of_pleasure. I left a review about positive feedback and personal feedback on your book page.
    I'll write the constructive criticism here:
    first sentence of your synopsis is a run-on sentence. Incorrect in terms of grammar. Not sure if you did it on purpose for other reasons. I think breaking it with period should be fine?
    Also, try to keep the tenses the same?
    "Her voice didn't escape Harry's ear, so he got into the business with newfound energy from a listening voice that could melt anyone's heart just by hearing.
    Suddenly he remembers a system and a cheeked potion which can help him, though due to the unstable soul he can't use magic, it wouldn't stop from using a potion."
    You got past and present all mixed up.
    Overall, the book is great! The basic setting is very interesting.
    Please give me a review when you have time.
    https://www.webnovel.com/book/12519833905731105

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