great_gamer
Hey god_of_pleasure. I left a review about positive feedback and personal feedback on your book page.
I'll write the constructive criticism here:
first sentence of your synopsis is a run-on sentence. Incorrect in terms of grammar. Not sure if you did it on purpose for other reasons. I think breaking it with period should be fine?
Also, try to keep the tenses the same?
"Her voice didn't escape Harry's ear, so he got into the business with newfound energy from a listening voice that could melt anyone's heart just by hearing.
Suddenly he remembers a system and a cheeked potion which can help him, though due to the unstable soul he can't use magic, it wouldn't stop from using a potion."
You got past and present all mixed up.
Overall, the book is great! The basic setting is very interesting.
Please give me a review when you have time.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/12519833905731105

      SimmeringHours thanks!
      I also checked out your novel. I think you shouldn't limit your novel to 300 chapters. You made a rough draft for a novel that was good, but you didn't consider development for an idea and your writing skills. It will get better with the more you write.

      Novels and Web novels are essentially different. You should aim for at least one million words. It would be better if you could drag one situation into a few chapters.

      You mixed everything in the first three chapters because of the competition. But you can split them into different parts. Like 1.Village (you can describe MC' situation) 2. Past (Maybe one of his aunts will tell them bedtime stories and describe the past. This is required because you mentioned deleting previous chapters.) 3. Attack(from giants) 4. Journey(they will leave for a safe place.) 5.Danger, preparation or bravery(MC will send others and prepare to fight with the giant.) 6. Fight.

      Ignore the last paragraph if you are not comfortable writing like that, but my advice is you should consider it because most web novels are written like this.

      Also, check out 'Book of authors'. That might give you a new perspective on web novels.

      P.S. i can't wait for your next chapters.

      I will write reviews for others as soon as I can.

        Apophis9
        There are a few things I like to point out.
        1. Grammar: starting chapters has some problems, but it gets better with new chapters. Check out Grammarly add-on.
        2.Word choice: there are many places where a better word can be used.
        3.Rushed story: it feels like a sitting in a superfast train. Slow it down, describe it in detail.
        4.Cliche: some of your plots are used many times in other novels. You need something unique to attract more readers.

            fantasy_land good novel so far.
            early few chapters are really short, you should consider re-writing them.
            try to plan chapters in advance, so you can merge them if they are short.
            also, emotions needs more description.
            develop side characters, i still on't know her grandpa's or his father's name.
            it should be sister rather than short sis before they met, can't be that casual before meeting.(sis-in-law or bro-in-low)
            more quantity require because people will find mistakes or loop hole in writing, if it's short.(like,how his grandpa barged in her office, without prior notice from her secretary. you need to clear up things like that.)

                fantasy_land Just saw your post now. And nah I don't like to force anyone into reviewing. My previous post was only a joke.
                And I only reviewed your novel because I thought it was interesting and...............short.

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